Aging with Famous Aging Actresses

The other day, I saw an interview with Jane Fonda.  God bless her, she has decided to embrace aging as fully as she embraced living the French life with her French husband in early ’60’s France, the anti-war movement in the early ’70’s, her workout videos in the early ’80’s, being wife to Ted Turner in the ’90’s.

This is good.  Very good.  In our ageist society, we need actresses like Jane Fonda to speak about really enjoying getting old.  True, unlike the rest of us, she is able to pay for plastic surgery that permits her to look very good in her ’70’s.  Nevertheless, I don’t mind having her as a poster “girl” for aging.  Maybe it is her girl next door persona, the all American girl who, like so many, went through all the ups and downs along with our society during the tumultuous second half of the 20th century.  But probably it has more to do with her spunky attitude towards aging.  She is not coming across as apologetic, embarrassed or as someone who regrets no longer being young.  No.  She enthusiastically embraces this next stage in her life.  As we all should.

Yes, we have Helen Mirren who is very gracefully aging and playing roles that reflect women around her age group.  But she is British.  We have Charlotte Rampling who has just come out with a movie, 45 years, about an aging couple confronting certain situations that they permitted themselves to ignore for most of their marriage.  Charlotte Rampling was considered very sexy in her younger days.  That sexy person has permitted herself to age gracefully.  But again, she is British.  Then we have the beautiful Julie Christie, who played in a wonderful film dealing with Alzheimer’s.  But again, British.

Yes, it seems that the British actresses are much more accepting of their aging process than the American actresses.  There are probably many reasons for this, but the least is not because Hollywood has always worshiped the younger, beautiful actress over the older, more experienced actress.  This, of course, forces older actresses to do what they can to look younger and to seek younger roles that might be meatier rather than potentially being cast as a grandmother in a supporting role to the protagonist.  Ironically, these British actresses are finding roles that permit viewers to experience the process of aging, the transitions that occur and the means by which to deal with them.

More importantly, but probably influenced by Hollywood’s attitude towards aging, is the undercurrent of bias towards the aging process that exists in our society.  Since World War II, the media, which really has a major influence in how people think and what they gravitate towards, has spent millions of dollars extolling the benefits of youth over age.

I certainly hope that Jane Fonda, through embracing her age and proudly proclaiming it, will have as much influence on our outlook of aging as she has had in other areas.


copyright Yvonne Behrens 2015





An American Tragedy: The Media

A few hours after the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings, a friend who knows something about electronics came over to my house to help me get my “media” center back on the air.  While he was fooling around with the wires, the television was on — probably all of ten minutes.  It was the news and clearly the news had been going on for quite some time.   You know, where the commentators are trying to fill air space and have repeated the same thing over and over.  BUT in the ten minutes that the television was on, I heard the commentator say: “We are not giving out names because the victim’s families have asked that their privacy be respected.”  This is being said as pictures of the faces of family members who have just received the news flash across the television.  In front of the nation, a person’s moment of unspeakable tragedy is flashed across the screen and the commentator is talking about respecting people’s privacy.

The next thing to occur on this news channel was hearing the commentator opine that “this person was a very sick, sick individual.”  As she said this, pictures of the SWAT team were being flashed on the screen.  These men all looked like White Supremacists with their shaved heads, assault guns and hand guns galore hanging off their bullet proof vests and in their hands.  And I asked myself:  “What planet am I on?”

That the National Rifle Association (NRA) continues to put forth their argument that as citizens of the United States, we have a right to bear arms because the second amendment (written prior to our having a standing army let alone assault weapons) says so [should we be attacked by a foreign nation] is bad enough.  But then to have the media expound non-stop with pictures that, quite frankly, feed into the high drama with the same intensity that one might experience watching a movie and thereby adding a glamorous twist to such a horrific act is the tragedy we need to look at.  Not to diminish by any means the tragedy of the shooting.  Yes, we need to focus on the gun laws and re-consider what the second amendment is truly about.  But we also need to reflect on how the news media helps to enhance these acts.

The television is in our living room (or kitchen or bedroom or family room).  Wherever the television is, it is in the middle of our hearth, the place we call home, our safe haven.  And yet, if we turn it on, and a majority of the people in the United States watch some television, many do so addictively, we are subjected to many intrusions into that sense of safety.  To see again and again the same shots, whether it be big burly SWAT teams or pictures of the victims looking innocently out at the camera, or a plane going into one of the Twin Towers, our world is being intruded upon in a most profound way.  Our psyches are being influenced into a belief that we live in an unsafe world.  We do and we don’t.

Oh yes, it is media’s job to let us know what is happening.  And, of course, one outcome is that on a national level, people are responding with outpourings of sympathy for the victims and their families and their community.  That is good.  We might even FINALLY see some changes in the gun laws in this country.  But we are not looking at the long term effect that seeing something played over and over again may have.  There is so much that we accept, including this 24 hour news service, as being something that is necessary.  If, in fact, there were news that was worth anything for the most part being shared, then maybe it could be justified.

But an outcome with media’s insistence of playing something over and over and over again is that the sense of unease and insecurity gets hammered into our psyches to such an extent that we begin to feel alienated from our fellow citizens, our neighbors.  We close ourselves off from feeling a societal connection with those around us.  And, although there have been many studies demonstrating a causal effect between violence on television and violence in real life, no one seems to be asking the question of how much of the attention that is given to these heinous acts might encourage others to commit them in turn?

We speak (although have as yet to take any action) about putting a cap on the types of guns individuals are allowed to carry.   I believe we should also put a cap on how much the news media is allowed to enter our lives, because it does have an influence through its continuous presence in our lives, –and mostly not for the better.

I will end with a great quote I saw on Facebook: One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport. Thirty-one school shootings since Columbine and no changes in our regulations of guns –John Oliver

Oh, and as I was scrolling down to find this quote, I saw a headline that apparently FOX News told their newscasters that they were not allowed to mention gun control in their coverage of the most recent shootings.  Hm.  But speak inane nonsense for hours on end……

© Yvonne Behrens, M.Ed  2012


Beauty Has Become Skin Deep

We are all cognizant of the fact that beauty is associated with youth.  When did this association begin?  Well, one could argue that it has always been true.  What has not always been true, however, has been media’s influence on our perception of ourselves and what we feel we need to do in order to fit media’s definition of beauty.

In previous articles, I have focussed on our youth oriented society.  I have reflected on how those Clairol ads that came out in the ’60’s not only spoke to our mothers, but to us.  As small children, we also heard, “wash that grey away and “he” will start to pay attention to you again.”  I know those are not exactly how the ads went, but the intent of the ads were that.  And so  we grew up with this idea that grey was for losers and hair coloring helped women look younger and thereby win their man, the day, their self-esteem.

Interestingly, female vanity makes us want to look good, but it is this same vanity that might make us hesitate to mess with our faces through plastic surgery (minor through botox injections or major by going under the knife).

When I see the ads on television today, in which this tired jowly looking woman stares back at me and then the next picture shows this very same woman looking ten years younger, air-brushing and make-up aside (note it is always a still picture), I wonder how that image affects the younger ones looking at the same ad?  Clearly in a way that makes them think it is acceptable for them to mess with their faces.

Over the past decade, botox and facelifts have gone mainstream. Now the ads state that if you are going to go under the knife, it is better to start earlier, because then there is less messing around which in turn allows the whole process to look more natural, and, boom, the industry has captured younger women.  Thus, of late, it has become “in” for younger women to get botox injections and or face lifts.   This in turn allows the older women less of the stigma hoop to jump because now it really is no longer associated with age, but with looking good and “feeling good about myself.”  If the young are doing it, hey, I am not doing it because I am getting old.  I am doing it because it is the THING to do!

And who wouldn’t want to remain beautiful or have a chance at beauty?  But then again, beauty defined by what criteria?

As k stated in an article entitled “Trends in the Beauty Industry Over the Past 10 Years”  in

By spending billions of dollars exhorting anti-aging products and using super-skinny, airbrushed models and celebrities to pitch them, the beauty industry has created An Ideal Woman in the minds of anyone who watches TV or picks up a magazine. The Ideal Woman is thin with flawless skin, no matter her age. And she has drawerfuls of products that miraculously make her that way.

In this day and age, beauty goes hand in hand with youth, so yes, I believe it’s a distorted image for women. So many people are obsessing more than ever about their jowls falling or lines appearing. It’s turning people to cosmetic surgery.

According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS – 2010), 9.9 billion cosmetic interventions were performed in the United States in 2009.  Of these, 85 percent were non-surgical.  The largest consumer group for these procedures were white women between the ages of 35 and 50.  The second largest was white women between the ages of 51-64.  And the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS – 2009) reports that there was a 537 percent increase in the numbers of Botox procedures performed between 2000 and 2008.

I am not necessarily thrilled at the sagging of my features.  Yet, I do wonder how much of that has to do with media influence.  How much has that to do with my own fear of aging and being pushed aside.  Moreover, I have seen too many women totally destroy the way they look by going under the knife or who have this unnatural look induced by Botox injections. Ultimately, without these interventions, one might look older, but one might be more beautiful in their aging face than in their plastic one.  Certainly, the beauty reflected in the naturally aging face would have to be more than skin deep.

I would love to hear from readers as to what you think about this new wave at staying young.